Waking Sarah

Torn between what she thinks and how she feels, Sarah McClain is overwhelmed by the tragedies of her past and the voices that have haunted her since childhood. Wanting to give in to the darkness that threatens her, Sarah teeters on the edge, while trying to ignore her true identity.

It's up to Chris to heal her broken heart and help her embrace what she really is. Will Sarah welcome her new world or is the pull of pain too powerful to endure?

“Thanks, Mom,” Sarah murmured, offering her mother a quick smile for the giant mug of coffee.

“Why don’t you come sit in the kitchen area, sweetie? It’s so much cozier than this big dining room. I’m sure the other girls will be down soon. I can make you some food. You should eat.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m not really hungry, and I like it here by the window. When is our flight back home?”

Her mother paused. “Margaret wanted you to stay here for a few days to catch up. I thought the peace and quiet away from the city would be good for you.”

“You didn’t ask Margaret if I could stay, did you? Mom! I don’t want my friends thinking I’m a wreck. I’m fine. You and dad need help with the diner.” It was a lie. She wasn’t fine, but she didn’t want her friend’s pity either.

“I didn’t ask. Margaret offered, and I accepted for you. I’m headed back tonight, and I called your dad already and he said he wanted you to stay and relax too. Take some time, sweetie.”

“Mom.”

“You need this, Sarah. Enjoy this place. Catch up with your friends. Do you have enough pills with you? I have some extras in my bag.”

“I have enough.” 

Her mom leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you at home in a few days.”

She shook her head as her mother hurried off back to the kitchen. Surely her mom had asked for her to stay. Why would Margaret offer? Weren’t they leaving on their honeymoon? Woodhaven Inn was beautiful, but it would be empty once all the wedding guests packed up and left. 

Though…maybe it would be nice to stay and just enjoy the quiet.

She stared out across the beautiful meadow stretching to the forests behind the inn. So different from the dry arid landscape around Las Vegas and the flat prairies of Texas. It was so beautiful here. A good place to just…

A gray wolf walked across the lawn behind the inn, distracting her from previous thoughts of disappearing into the forest. She glanced around the dining room for someone to tell, but nobody was around. She turned back and watched the magnificent animal stroll across the property. It disappeared around the side of the building, and she gasped. 

Wouldn’t most wildlife steer clear of an inhabited area?

* * *

Chris Michaels trotted across the meadow behind Woodhaven, the name Margaret christened the old inn with. It was a good name. The inn was impressive after all the work they had put into it. It had a huge main living area downstairs, a smaller commons area on the second floor, a dining room that could seat about sixty-five, a kitchen that could feed an army, and thirty-six guest rooms spread between the second and third floor. It also had a hidden entrance to a huge basement area through the pantry in the kitchen.

He darted down the narrow walk between the inn and the work shed to avoid any prying eyes that might be peering out their windows. The dew-covered grass between his paws was invigorating and even nicer on bare feet, he noted, shifting quickly. Much more inviting than Vegas sand, though the nightlife in Vegas was fabulous. This place was like living under a rock —literally. 

A pair of sweatpants lay exactly where he’d left them by the door. He slipped them on and ducked inside.

He’d taken the Demakis girls out to see a movie last week at the one and only theater in Logan. They didn’t serve alcohol, and he’d suffered through an emotional chick flick without a single drink in his system. Then Nicole had told him he wasn’t her mate. He already knew, but it was sweet that she’d tried to let him down easily. When he’d arrived at Woodhaven a month ago, he’d already been told she’d turned twenty-five. A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone, but he wanted the same thing she did —a true mate. 

He strolled barefoot down the main hall and walked into the empty dining room, his mind totally focused on raiding the fridge for leftovers from last night’s wedding feast.

“Hi,” a feminine voice squeaked from the corner, surprising him and eliciting an under-the-breath curse. No one ever surprised him. Where the hell had she come from?

“Morning,” he forced out. He hadn’t thought anyone would be up yet.

“Sorry, if I startled you.” Her voice was soft and silky. “I saw a wolf walk across the lawn. Did you see it? I didn’t think wildlife would come so close to the building. It was so beautiful.”

Chris grinned at the unknowingly bestowed compliment to his wolf. Maybe Sarah McLain wouldn’t be too against finding out she was a wolf as well. 

Her burgundy red hair was twisted up on her head in a messy bun, and her green eyes sparkled. It was the most excitement he’d seen from her the entire weekend. She’d been severely depressed when she first arrived and very reserved, but now… He couldn’t stop staring at her creamy white skin. The little tank top and athletic shorts didn’t leave much to the imagination, but he wouldn’t mind peeling them off to see the rest of her delicious body. How did I not notice those curves before now? Gods, and her scent. She smelled like the morning glories outside near the deck.

“Because you were still thinking about Nicole.”

I’ve moved on.

“I noticed.” His wolf chuckled.

His gaze trailed back to her angelic face, and his grin widened. He wasn’t the only one window-shopping. Her stare was fixated on his bare torso. His cock twitched with interest. Shit. He better move it along, or he’d be standing in front of her with a hard-on.

“Oh, there are several wolves living around here,” he answered with a wink. 

She blushed a beautiful bright pink and met his gaze, no doubt realizing he’d caught her appreciating the scenery.

“I’ll have to keep my eye out for them.” She smiled and took a sip of her coffee.

“They are beautiful creatures,” he added, staring at her again, wondering what her wolf would look like. 

He turned abruptly and hurried from the room before his dick could embarrass him. A sigh escaped his mouth before he realized the kitchen wasn’t empty either. Bonnie McLain was cooking up a storm. It was like Joe’s Diner had come to the inn for a visit. 

Bonnie looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. Suddenly he felt very underdressed.

“Go put a shirt on, young man, and I’ll fix you a plate.”

It wasn’t a request. The little woman was ordering him around as if she were his mother.

“You heard her, Chris,” a much more familiar voice snapped from the other side of the kitchen.

“Shi— Mom!” What’s wrong with me today? I’m off my game. “I’m going.” He held up his hands in surrender and whirled, ducking back through the doorway and into the dining room. 

Sarah was still at her table, staring out the window. She didn’t seem to notice him at first, but then she turned her head, and her gaze followed him across the room.

“No shirt, no service?”

He stopped, a laugh rolled up from his chest. “Yes.”

A grin spread across her face, and he was sure his heart stopped at least for a few seconds. He wanted to join her at the table, but fear of the mothers in the kitchen kept his feet planted firmly where they were. 

“I’ll be back in a minute. Will you still be here? I’d like to eat with you.”

She held up her coffee cup. “Not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

He hurried from the room and up the main set of stairs at the front of the inn.

“You shouldn’t be pursuing her,” his wolf growled. “She’s human.”

Not for long.

“You can’t tell if she’s a mate match until after she turns.”

Sometimes even humans have instincts. Plus, a little flirting never hurt anyone.

“She’s masking her pain. You need to be mindful,” his wolf warned.

I will.

His wolf snorted but didn’t respond.

He swung a left at the top of the stairs and slipped through the door into his room. The girls had deemed the east wing of the second floor for boys, claiming the west wing for themselves. The middle rooms served as a buffer and were for couples. At least that’s what Nicole had told him when he arrived. Like it mattered to him what side of the inn he stayed on. He did appreciate the new bed and upgraded en suite bathroom. O’Hearn hadn’t skimped on the remodel.

The third floor remained untouched and was being used for storage since the space wasn’t needed yet. He’d gone up and poked around a little. They’d had to go up to get to the roof and install the satellite. Nobody could live without cell service and Internet.

He grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it on, also swapping his sweatpants for a pair of loose jeans. Then he made his way back down to the dining room. Sarah waved him on to the kitchen to grab a plate. He walked in quietly. His mom wasn’t there anymore, but Bonnie gave him an approving once-over.

“Where are your shoes?”

“Bonnie, I don’t like shoes. Can I have some breakfast, or should I just go rummage in the fridge?”

“I don’t understand you and your friends. Never met people who hated being dressed so much. I think you would all just walk around naked if you could.” She snorted out a laugh and handed him a plate heaped with scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon.

He bit his lip, trying hard not to reply to her comment. It was true. They walked around semi-dressed a lot. Especially if they were going out for a run. He never thought about what it looked like to the humans around them. I guess they did look a little like slobs that never got out of bed.

“Don’t laugh!” She waved a spatula at him in the air. “You know I’m right.”

“Yes, ma’am, you are. Our secret desire is to join a nudist colony.”

The spatula dropped to the floor, and a look of horror passed over Bonnie’s face. He instantly felt sorry for teasing her, but the nude comment wasn’t that outlandish. Shifters learned at an early age not to be ashamed of being nude. It was just a part of life. They couldn’t shift with clothing on.

“I’m kidding, Bonnie. I promise.” He put his plate down on the counter and gave the older woman a quick hug.

“You just said it so easily. Like it really was...”

He chuckled, and she pushed him away.

“I just can’t help teasing. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Are you going out there to keep my daughter company?”

A chill ran through his blood, and he paused at the door. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good, but no talking about nudist colonies,” she added, giggling at the last bit.

He sighed and nodded in agreement. He’d been worried she would tell him to leave her daughter alone. That would have been awkward.

* * *

“Mind if I sit with you?”

Sarah looked up and smiled, melting his heart all over again. Shit, he was falling hard. What was it about this tiny little redhead that got to him? 

“Sure. You know, I saw four more wolves.” She pointed out the window to the woods east of the inn. “Are they always so close to the building? Is it safe to walk the grounds?” Her voice trembled just a little. The sadness he remembered in her from yesterday was rearing its head.

“You’re perfectly safe as long as you don’t wander into the woods by yourself.” He glanced outside. Some of the girls must have gone out for a morning run. He hadn’t noticed any natural wolves in the area. “Did you want a tour?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine.” She took another sip of her coffee then reached forward and swiped a piece of his bacon.

“Thief!” He chuckled.

“You won’t miss one little piece.” She smiled, taking a huge bite of the strip of bacon she’d just pilfered.

“I can go get you a plate,” he offered. She was adorable, sitting their munching happily on his breakfast. He could stare at her all day and not get bored. How the hell was he ever going to be able to focus long enough to train her? When he’d agreed to step into the role as Beta to help his brother lead the pack, he hadn’t foreseen such a gorgeous distraction.

“It tastes better off of yours.” She moaned her satisfaction after devouring the last bit of the strip and licked her fingers clean of the bacon grease.

He took a deep breath and shifted in his chair. The little fox was flirting with him, and his pants were suddenly very tight. “I see. Then, by all means, continue to help yourself.” He pushed the plate a little closer. 

“Thanks. I’m Sarah, by the way. I’m not sure we really had a chance to speak this weekend yet.”

“Chris Michaels, Chase’s brother.”

“Margaret and Sam mentioned you, but I wasn’t in the best frame of mind when I first got here.”

“You seemed like you needed some space.” He took a bite of toast and grinned when she snagged yet another piece of bacon from his plate. At least she was eating. She was so thin. She needed to gain a little weight. Women should be soft in bed. Crap. Focus. Quit thinking about sleeping with her.

“You probably don’t want to hear this, but I lost my fiancé about six months ago. It happened right after Sam married your brother.” 

Definitely a mood killer, but perfect timing. He paused, thinking about his next words carefully. “Sam mentioned you lost a boyfriend. I’m so sorry though. I didn’t know you were engaged.”

“We hadn’t announced it yet.” Her face darkened, and Chris saw something in her manner that worried him. Something desperate and dark he’d seen in his mother right after the incident. His mother had tried to give up, but killing yourself was tough to do when another sentient being shared your body and didn’t want to die.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, but I have to say, watching you eat that bacon is totally worth talking about anything you want.” He prayed the redirect would bring back her lovely smile.

It did.

She blushed bright red. Her face was practically the same color as her hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it. I always...”

“Ate off of his plate?”

She nodded and put the bacon down on her napkin. “I think you’re the first guy I’ve shared a meal with since he was killed.”

“What was he like?” Aaaaack! Why did I ask that?

“Because you have a kind heart and she needs to talk about her loss to heal from it,” his wolf whispered back.

Her eyes widened, and she took a deep breath. “He was sweet and thoughtful and looked out for me. I tend to forget to eat, and he always made me eat off of his plate. He said it was so he knew I was taking care of myself and not just drinking coffee to survive.”

Tears glistened in her eyes. Her broken heart could be seen as clearly as if it had been tattooed onto her skin.

He knew what loss felt like. He’d just lost his dad. Heck, more than half the pack had lost someone. Renata Demakis had viciously murdered all of them. They’d gone with Peter Demakis, her husband, to try and move her to another safe house. Peter had been so desperate to save her. His hope had cost them dearly.

She’d killed all of them. Her husband. Her brother. His father. Margaret’s father and two of her uncles. The pack had been devastated. They were still trying to pick up the pieces. Even six months later, he knew his mother still cried herself to sleep. He and Maggie took turns watching over her. But her wolf was slowly helping her grieve and move forward. 

“It’s good to talk about the ones we lose,” he finally spoke. “It keeps their memory alive.” He shifted in his chair and let his gaze stray out the window next to him. The green of the mountains and forest was so much more soothing than the harsh dryness of Vegas. He was glad he would be staying here a while.

“You lost your dad in the same incident that took Margaret’s and Sam’s. Your families are very close. It must be hard. I’m so sorry.”

What a strong little broken heart. She’s practically in tears over her lost fiancé, and she’s trying to comfort me.

“Thank you, Sarah. We are all very close, and it has been difficult, but it’s been the hardest on my mother. They’d been together so many years. I may have lost my father, but it broke my mother. She was in the kitchen with yours when I first came down. When Bonnie told me to go put a shirt on she smiled. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her smile since he died.”

“It feels as though you’re betraying them by finding joy in life again.”

He nodded. “It’s important to remember that he would’ve wanted you to find that joy again.” His dad wouldn’t have wanted his mother to suffer and waste away. No man who truly loved a woman would ever wish that on them.

“I know. But it’s still hard. And some days it’s impossible.”

“Margaret said you might be staying with us a while.”

Her gaze narrowed on him and then flitted toward the window. “Just a couple of days. Mom and Dad apparently think I need…time.” Green eyes flashed, and she glared at him again. “You knew she asked. How?”

He glanced back at her. Damn. This girl didn’t miss a beat.

“Several of us are staying here for a while before we head back to Vegas. You aren’t the only one Margaret’s trying to mother,” he answered quickly, hoping the lie was convincing.

“Oh,” she paused. “It will be nice to relax a few days. It’s not like there’s much in Vegas for me besides helping Mom and Dad at the diner.”

He pushed a little. “So you’re staying?” 

She nodded. “Yes. For a couple of days.”